Life they say is short, so just like money, spend it wisely – Alzek
A deceased relative is something of the norm for the people; we all have been through it. And recently, I experienced it once again.
Wednesday evening, my aunt called over the cellphone in a crying voice. My grandmother’s condition is getting real worse. Who wouldn’t be worried?! We rushed to get to Pasig where most of my relatives on my mother’s side live and so is my mother’s mother, my grandmother of course.
There she lays in her deathbed, her eyes closed, troubled breathing as if she was chasing it. Most of my relatives are in tears by the sight of our nanay Crising, we were all helpless. She has hearing problems to make our parting messages to her harder to convey. Nonetheless, we gave it to her.
Whatever we do, she didn’t open her eyes, we just want her to see us all for the very last time. We each told her our messages to her. But my sister was not with us at the time. So we had her on loudspeaker over the phone. A miracle happened! She opened her eyes upon hearing my sister’s voice! The room became very emotional.
My mother asked my sister to come to Pasig so she can see her alive for the very last time, so she did. It was as if she was trying to say something, but was unable to because her motor skills have been failing already. For me, I think she wants to tell us her last words but was unable to that is why she kept trying until her last breath.
How I wish God would take back already the life He loaned to our beloved grandmother; such greater pain it is to see her suffer before her life ends.
My sister and I went home 4 in the morning. On the way home, my mother called us, she is gone. She is gone. She is gone.
In the evening we went there again for the wake. As I lean on the coffin, I saw a smile on her wrinkled face. Well at least she’s happy.
The three-day funeral wake was very fulfilling to the stomach thanks to mommy and all who helped prepare the food. Medyo nasira diet ko.
We attended her last mass and burial. As she is being carried out of the house, my cousins and aunts started crying.
The weather was hot and humid when we walked going to the church. I was sweating, but I did not care.
After the mass, we went straight to the cemetery. This is the most emotional part of every funeral, the burial. I was very much relieved that my tita Nelia, my aunt who’s been always been with my grandmother, was not very emotional anymore. May sakit sya so getting very emotional might trigger her illness. I love you ninang!
With all of these crying and weeping, I am not a part of. I know my relatives have seen it. Not crying doesn’t mean I don’t care. Not crying means staying strong(sounds machismo, I know) .Sadness can be expressed in other ways other than crying; it can be in the form of songs, poems, and even writing(like what I’m doing).I have already accepted what God has in store for her.Acceptance makes the grief more bearable.
I love my grandmother VERY MUCH. We will miss you Nanay Crising!
Cresencia B. Villarin
Nov. 24, 1931- June 9,2011
And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
– Abraham Lincoln