“Pag pag-ibig ay sumibol
Iwasang ito ay magahol
Kapag kulang sa alaga
Ito ay malalanta”
Ang mga linya sa itaas ay galing sa tulang “Alimpuyo ng Damdamin” ni Boy Makata. Napagtanto ko na ang pag-ibig ay isa ring living organism. May buhay ito, parang bulaklak na pwedeng mamulaklak o pwede ring matigang.
Just like a delicate flower, it has its basic needs; it needs water, sunlight, and care. In short, proper attention. Don’t give it proper attention and it will wilt and die.
“Yung sa akin lanta na eh”
This post is about you, yes you. Ikaw na mas gusto lang makipagtext. Allergic ka ba saken? Does the mere sight of me makes you itch?
Bakit ka ganyan? I feel like being taken for granted. Napakasimple lang ng hinihiling ko, bakit hindi mo ko mapagbigyan? You really don’t wanna see me, do you?
You started this, aminin mo. Slap me if I’m wrong and slap me HARD.
You have built it up, then I have fallen. Now that I have fallen you kept me hanging.
TOO MANY TIMES I have tried to set up a date so we could meet and just talk, a real world interaction. I don’t know if it is coincidence or what, but everytime I do, laging hindi pumupwede. And I don’t see you trying to make up for it, like trying to help me fix the schedule para matuloy. And just recently, tuloy na sana di ba? I understand pa, family thing and it was unprecedented. “Bukas na lang”, I said. Oops! Hindi ka pa rin pala pwede. “hihi”. I said to myself, sige ok lang, matagal na pala nakaplano lakad nya ng araw na yun.
But I was waiting for you to say “Sorry talaga,I will make up for it.” So why am I expecting these words? Everyone might think, “Napakademanding naman nitong si Derek! Di pa nga sila akala mo kung sino na!” If you’re in my shoes you’ll know how I feel.
Kase sabi mo you also know how it feels; I really want to see you, to talk to you in person, to interact with you, hindi yung puro TEXT lang. But NO, I didn’t get any apologies. May mga bagay akong gustong sabihin, ikwento,itanong, ishare in person at hindi sa text. But I lost my eagerness na. I used to have this pent up excitement dati to see you, now it’s gone.
“I was so excited to see you, talk to you, share with you, WAS”
You yourself could’ve easily set up a date and time,any day of the weeks, not week. You do know that I’m longing to see you, ikaw pala hinde. I asked you if you know how it feels, sabi mo OO,”kahit babae rin naman siguro eh.” Hindi pala, hindi pala…
“You are a very busy woman. I don’t think you need a man in your life right now”
I am willing to invest my time in you, but I really feel you don’t feel the same way. I know that even if I will be busy, I will see to it that I have time for you. But how could I expect you to devote a portion of your time for me in the future if ngayon pa lang hindi mo na ako maisingit sa NAPAKABUSY mong schedule? YES, that is how much of a long term thinker I am.
“Immediate actions reveal long term habits”
Hindi naman ako nagmamadali eh. Ang gusto ko lang naman ay makausap ka habang nakikita ka. Hindi naman mahirap unawain di ba? Kahit tanungin pa ang mga kalalakihan kung ano mas ok sa kanila, text o usap. Ano kaya pipiliin nila?
“Feeling ko nga textmate lang tayo eh, yun lang, plain textmates”
“You are a very busy woman. I don’t think you need a man in your life right now”
Tulad ng isang bulaklak, ang damdaming ito’y hinayaan mong malanta; naghihikahos, nagmamakaawa, nanghihingi ng atensyon. Ngunit pinagkibit balikat lang. It’s so easy for you to shrug it off. Taken for granted ika nga… Kamusta naman si bulaklak di ba?
Maybe you would say, “E bakit hindi mo saken sabihin yan ng harapan?” How could I? DO YOU EVEN HAVE THE TIME? So it doesn’t make a difference if I text this(nako ang haba nito kung sa text) or if I blog about it. Well, actually, it does pala. If sa text lang, it would be ignored kinabukasan after what has been said back and forth. But if I write it here, it can’t be ignored.
Alam mo,may surprise pa naman ako sayo this coming February 14. Now it’s not a surprise and I guess it won’t be happening anymore…
But it’s not too late; I haven’t heard your side yet on why you are acting like that,or if there’s ever a reason to your actions that is truly hurting someone. I would like to hear your side.
You said you’ve been holding back, but you’ve been holding back too much. As men, there is a point that we can only take so much. I was just there recently and I’m really near that point again. I don’t want to be there anymore.
If you keep holding back, then I guess I have to let go.
